We're like a lot better than the average bears
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
