Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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