is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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