cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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