Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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