fuck your aforementioned shoe
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
