Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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