Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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