Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
