go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
