I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
