somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Randomize
