I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
