The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I want her autograph on my taint
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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