i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
