Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
