I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
