she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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