Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
