and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
