Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Shame is for Republicans.
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