Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
