i was rollin on her like bob the builder
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
