I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
