I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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