Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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