My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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