how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
