I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
