Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
