Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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