her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
