went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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