he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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