it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
