just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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