hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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