that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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