real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
