Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
