thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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