At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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