I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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