I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
