He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
