sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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