But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
