Don't you send me to vm
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize
