He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
