It's Friday. Sex?
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
