I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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