Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
