what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
