How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
