just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize