I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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