If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
