the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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