Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Randomize
