How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize