physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize