Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
bring money and cleavage
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
