So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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