Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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