god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
